A good friend, they say, is hard to come by. And it’s because those who seek are damaged in the soul; those who seek are, unfortunately, their worst example of a good friend. I mean, how does one become a friend? Let alone a good one.
There’s a pressure that comes with wanting to become “someone.”
Have I asked how he’s feeling today? Am I remembering her birthday each year that passes? Am I “keeping in touch”? Did I finally “catch up” with his life? Do I really care about her? Have I followed-up with the conversation we had last week? All these questions appear as if to be markers of a relationship one week, one month, one year, three years, ten years down the line. These bullshit markers that are supposed to be some kind of strategy on how humans become good friends, and thus try to serve as some gateway on how to find good friends. Here’s what I learned: There is no way to know you are a good friend; just be a good person.
My boss told me one thing that will always ring true to my, sometimes, desolated mind: “Don’t try, do.” Just be you, do what you do, be where you have to be. I lose track of being myself sometimes because I try too hard to be a good friend for far too long in a day’s end. I’m scared. And it’s largely due to the friends I’ve lost whom I naively believed were good people. Those are just people I’ve cut out now. It’s a lonely journey to find good friends, but you just need to be you. Friends, the good ones, take and accept you fully; and they do so in your utmost fucked up and best of times. They better you. They tell you things you don’t want to hear, but will still fully respect you and the decisions your make in your life. Those are the good souls. Those are the reflection of your soul. I’m finding a friend in myself nowadays. And that’s my first step in finding others out there, those who will eventually become my good friends. It’s a beautiful realization.